Saturday, July 28, 2007

Do You Ever Feel....

Do you ever feel that you just can't take any more? You can't take any more bad news, sadness, stress? Today that's what I'm feeling. I know tomorrow the feeling will lighten a little but today it is heavy. My dear friend, Claire, the one I visited in Valparaiso, IN about a month ago lost her husband to a heart attack last night. He wasn't that old, wasn't ill and it was quite unexpected. My heart breaks for her and her kids, all 3 of which are far too young to have to be without a father. This loss on top of my own Mother and Father seems like too much, at least for today. It's just so sad.
My Mother will be taken off the ventilator on Monday. It's time; she's not improving and the bottom line, which I have to keep reminding myself, is that she would not want to live like this; tubes down her throat, hands tied down, laying in a bed staring at the ceiling when she is awake but most of the time sleeping because of the pain medication. It's just so sad.
My Father will probably have another chemo treatment next week. He has been sick following the first treatment and is just starting to feel a little better. His spirits are high and he's fighting the good fight. It's just so sad.
Today is a sad day. Tomorrow the sun will come up, it will be a beautiful day here in Michigan. It will be Howard's birthday and we will all try to be happy. We will have cake and cards and presents and appreciate what we do have and that we are relatively healthy, happy and just simply alive. Tomorrow will be a happier day, hopefully. Just one day. Then it will be Monday.

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